Front playtime

Eva is good for about 10 minutes before she gets really grumpy, she is getting really good at lifting her head up and this is meant to make her neck stronger.

We have both had our first cold, mine was the collation of the last six months and as much as I will deny it I have hit the wall, only I can deal and fix it, Karen use to be able to with a smile, I guess this is the biggest adjustment and challenge. Eva is taking it in her stride just makes eating and sleeping a grumpy affair.

It has been a rough week and taken me to places I wish to not visit too often.

Learning to sleep anywhere and not always swaddled!

If you value your sleep and have a baby

Its not often that I could be convinced that life skills could be learned in a book, but wow how wrong have I been, the book "SAVE OUR SLEEP" by Tizzie Hall is not just words it is a bible for anyone with a baby, it is a guaranteed (my words) way to get your baby to sleep through the night and more importantly know you baby inside out.
 
I am a first time dad, a solo dad and a grieving husband after the recent loss of Karen, my first nappy was on Eva at a weight of three pounds inside an incubator, my first bottle was on Eva at three and a very little bit pounds, so yes I am an absolute novice and therefore not influenced by my parents or the very poor advice so readily given by so many well meaning parents just wanting to help but who have brought there kids up under the mentality thats just the way it is.
 
This book has given me a happy and content Eva, she doesn't cry, sleeps through and whenever I have had a problem the solutuion was always within my bible, it has given me my life and sleep back.
 
Lately I emailed the team at "SAVE OUR SLEEP" and humbling to say the least was a reply and many since from Tizzie Hall the author herself, an obviously selfless and incredibly special person.
 
So if you have, are having or know of someone who is about to have a baby then do yourself a favour and go to www.saveoursleep.com and buy the book it is the best gift you could give and seriously it really works, even with all that has been going on in Eva's and my lives Eva has been a dream and continues to do as it says, sleep through the night, cry for a very obvious and easily solved reason and as I said at the beginning I know Eva and that is special especially at the moment.

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Find someone to snuggle up with Brrr... its getting cold out there

In her element, Karen in a special moment

 
Regards
 
David WHYMAN
M +44 7984 533 290 
 
Sustainability | Please consider the environment before printing this email

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Hanging out and missing Karen

Time upright

Happy and cute

On behalf of all Karen's friends

Angela spoke on behalf of all the friends at the service and the words were perfect, please find them below.

Friends are the joyous, freely chosen part of our lives. We do not need to distinguish between those friendships that are either deep or transient. It is enough to know that there are powerful reasons why we create these bonds. Friendship defines what it means to be human.
Friends are rooted in the realities of our lives but when those realities are harsh our friends help make our lives endurable. We care for one another, we share in one another and even under the most trying of circumstances we can laugh with one another. The Greek philosopher Epicurus observed:
"Of all the things that wisdom provides to help one live one's life in happiness, the greatest by far is the possession of friendship."
Karen was an honest and truthful friend. She questioned our thinking of the world, tolerated the differences and sort to understand the anomalies. She possessed curiosity and was always willing to see more - do more - experience more.
I wanted to share some memories with you. And so looking in the rear view mirror my memory is of the first time Karen had been skiing.
She was introduced to a crowd of kiwis that, like Karen, only wanted to play on the slopes. Even on the first day my memory is of looking up the hill and seeing this picture of concentration and a very capable and undaunted person making her way down the slope. It summed up Karen completely - independent, strong willed and determined to make her own way.
However, it was a biking holiday that that I will remember most. A friend had decided he wanted to try some mountain biking in Colorado and Utah. It was an easy decision about whether to go and we were excited about the adventure.
The time started with a few small rides in each place we stopped. Never really knowing where the next town might be - some days we'd hire bikes - others we'd take a walk up a mountain into the snow. It was relaxing, simple and uncomplicated.
Utah especially is famous for slick rock. The scenery can only be described as spaghetti western inspired. Large mountains of rock, narrow paths and some steep downhill – all on rock and all on a mountain bike. This was scary stuff – and actually to be honest, not the smartest of things to attempt.
Like skiing - Karen was a demon mountain biker….
If she was worried about falling over the edge she never showed it. She was happy to lead from the front even when the path ahead wasn't clear. She wanted to get the most out of every moment.
This is Karen Whyman and I am so incredibly thankful that this inspiring and thought provoking woman was part of my life. Her memory serves to remind us to have faith in knowing that life is a truly beautiful event, that there are moments to be enjoyed every day and that those moments are even richer when shared with friends.
I will miss you dearly Karen.
For David and Eva, 22 July 2009

My Karen

This is what was read by Tim on my behalf at the service, yesterday, today, tomorrow, next month next year it is and always will be how I feel.

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Absolute, true and unconditional love.

We had a complete and fulfilled life together as husband and wife and adored each other as friends.

We declared our marriage as a statement of our commitment and desire to be one with each other. What greater thing is there than two human souls to feel they are joined together. Our love did not simply consist of gazing at each other but looking together in the same direction, it always will.

Karen and I exchanged rings as a symbol of the strength of our love, each and every day we were together our love for each other only grew stronger. Our lives were bound now and forever in true and lasting love.

We shared a beautiful life together as equals and allies, an amazing adventure.

Karen, from the moment we met I Ioved you, till the day I die I will love you, you are my friend, my lover, my companion and my soul mate. I will love and laugh with you forever.

Thank you for letting me have you as long as you did.

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Thank you to all of you that attended and to all of you in every part of the world that took time celebrate and remember, your cards, flowers, texts and emails have brought me so many tears, smiles and given me strength for now and the future.

I will say this a lot and expect always, I miss Karen so much, as much as that if all I suffer is the hurt of loss it is a small price to pay for knowing that Karen no longer suffers the pain and torture of what she endured, this brings me peace.

Brian and Anne a big thank you

To be with Karen

Today is strange to say the least and will always struggle to understand the concept of people gathering to say goodbye, Karen is no longer here but she lives on in both Eva and I and how we live everyday, why would I need to say goodbye and have that finality, as you would expect I don't.

I have put together a few words to Karen and these will be read this afternoon, we dried three roses and these along with my words will be cremated with Karen today.

Thank you for all your words and messages of support Eva and I look forward to taking time of the coming months to spend time with each and every one of you.

Sydney Australian Celebrations

Hi All

As a tribute to Karen, we would like to invite you all to our place to share in a toast and thanksgiving for a special young lady.
We have a home vid cam, so will make a montage of the evening and send that to Dave.

In order to try and have our get together as close as possible to the UK event we suggest this Thursday night, 23rd July, 7pm-9pm (it's a school night!) Bring a bottle, except for Desousa - your on nibbles (we will do some too)

Our address:
3/21 Shipley Ave
North Strathfield (Concord side)
Our street is off Concord Road.

We know it's short notice, but let us know if you are coming, would love to see you and celebrate what a fabulous lady Karen was.

Debbie and Marcus
debbie.simister@accor.com
M: 0439 333 307

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Australian Celebrations

This brought me to tears and means so much, Tania than you beyond words.

Hi David,

Just a note to let you know that in true celebration of Karen's life and the beautiful person that she was, there is going to be a small gathering at a local Melbourne pub on Wednesday 22nd July, to coincide with the UK celebrations (sort of).It is, at this stage, mainly Draeger Medical Australia people, however like myself and a few others who have left Draeger in the last 18 months we would prefer to think of it as a "friends of Karen" get together/thanksgiving.

With this in mind, I thought I would let you know, and that if any other friends feel that they would like to come and charge a glass (or two) they would be very warmly welcomed. The details are:

Wednesday 22nd July, 2009 4.30pm-6.30pmUpstairs at Shine Café and Lounge74-76 Kings WayGlen Waverley My phone number is +61409729275, if anyone needs more details. 

We have also indicated to those emailed with the details, that all donations be forwarded to St Michaels Hospice and/or the "Eve Appeal". Also I was wondering, if it would be Ok with you, if we gathered some photos together of Karen and put them to some Eva Cassidy music in a PowerPoint presentation for everyone to share.  If appropriate, can we please have your permission to also add some photos of yourself and the very gorgeous Eva, from your blog?

We would very much appreciate it, but understand if you would prefer it kept private. Please know that our thoughts are very much with you and Eva at this time, and that Karen was truly a loved friend here in Australia. 

I look forward in hearing from you, if possible, but understand that this is a busy and difficult time. 

Kindest thoughts and best regards Tania Richardson
Ph: 0409 279 275 

Morning play time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EdSjGwWofI

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Trying to be normal

I knew this would be hard I just didn't realise how hard, just looking after Eva in itself as a single parent is full on but to throw in the loss of Karen leaves me daunted with the path ahead.
As you would expect Eva picks up on me and the last two days I have not been in my usual positive frame of mind and she has reflected that.
This afternoon we went out for a walk and I have been doing a heap of me time and the evidence you can see through the included picture.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I do know my wife was happy to leave Eva with me because she believes in me, it is time to mourn and grieve with a smile and see the best in each and every day, living as if there is no tomorrow will ensure amongst everything I make the most of today.

When Eva is tired she sleeps anywhere.

When things were tough for Karen and I we always had each other to hug, hold and support, a crutch, to listen when it was much needed.

It sinks home so much when I am struggling and Karen is no longer hear to make it all better.

A chance to celebrate together

A week today and if anything it has got harder not easier, as Wednesday gets closer the importance of being completely selfless and ensuring that the ceremonies are exactly what Karen wanted is all the matters.

Having met with St Peters Church I feel the ceremony will be all that Karen wanted and am so peaceful with knowing that.

Prior to the Thanksgiving at the church we are having a committal and crematorium service for immediate family only, Sam, Mark, Tom, Linda, Jeff and myself, as much as people may wish to attend I highlight it is only for the immediate family so please respect mine and Karen's wishes and attend the service at the church only.

So the details again:
Wednesday the 22nd of July at St Peters Church at 2:30pm,
19-21 Cambridge St, Harrogate, HG1 1RW.

No flowers by request, donations if desired to either:
“St Michael’s Hospice” - www.saintmichaelshospice.org,
or
The “Eve Appeal” www.eveappeal.org.uk

Please join me in ensuring that together we celebrate an incredible, amazing and special woman, Karen Whyman.

Hanging out in my new bed, no more moses basket for me.‏

Weigh in‏

The day Eva hit double figures, today she is 10 pounds 3 ounces.

It is so hard to pass milestones like today without Karen to laugh hold hug and share.

After being born under 3 pounds exactly four months ago and now two months past her due date Eva continues to thrive.

Weigh in

The day Eva hit double figures, today she is 10 pounds 3 ounces.

It is so hard to pass milestones like today without Karen to laugh hold hug and share.

After being born under 3 pounds exactly four months ago and now two months past her due date Eva continues to thrive.

Hanging out in my new bed, no more moses basket for me.

Thank you. Draeger your continued support has always amazed and humbled us.

A big thank you to APL, the best aluminium company in the Southern Hemisphere

My third set of jabs

Eva looks relaxed now but half an hour ago after her third set of immunisations I have never heard her cry so much, it made me cry, it has been a rough day to say the least.

I had to go to the registry office this afternoon to register Karen's passing, I am still waiting to wake up from this nightmare and it all be normal again, mum dad and Eva, a family, how did this happen, life can be just a little unfair sometimes.

Getting too long for my moses basket!

The two sides of my coin

Missing Karen.
 
Enjoying Eva.
 
This mornings video.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxhJ2dE-sdw

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A chance to celebrate and say goodbye

On July the 11^th Karen passed away after a brave battle with cancer.

Wife to David, mother to Eva, friend too many.

From the moment we met I Ioved you, untill the day I die I will love you, you are my friend, my lover, my companion and my soul mate. I will love and laugh with you forever.

A Thanksgiving will be held on Wednesday the 22^nd of July at St Peters Church, 19-21 Cambridge St, Harrogate, HG1 1RW at 2:30pm.

No flowers by request, donations if desired to either:

"St Michael's Hospice" - www.saintmichaelshospice.org, or The "Eve Appeal" www.eveappeal.org.uk

Time alone

Three days and the realities of loosing Karen are forced upon me like it or not, funeral directors, death certificates and crematorium arrangements have quickly dispelled any confusion that this could be a nightmare.

I miss her every second and look forward to putting my head down at night so I can have a break from the hurt and feeling of such deep loss.

Today is the first time I have had time to myself since Karen passed away and it is time to reflect, laugh, cry, thank, curse and inevitably feed, change and bath Eva.

We have yet to finalise the details for Karen's Thanks Giving but it tentatively will be next Wednesday afternoon at 2:30 at St Peters Church (subject to it being free) in Harrogate, same place, same time just 1 month and 1 day later than Eva's baptism.

The Yorkshire show means no ceremonies this week as well as Monday and on Tuesday town is closed for a freedom March so hence Wednesday.

I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible to celebrate that we had Karen and bid her a final farewell in the physical sense as I feel she lives on in all of us and so very many ways.

In the last month two amazing bunches of flowers from a very special employer in SOFT TECH

In the last month two amazing bunches of flowers from a very special employer in SOFT TECH

Cute and knowing it, missing mum like crazy

Good morning, I'm the light in my dads day

The Karen to remember

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Find someone to snuggle up with Brrr... its getting cold out there

The day after

I awoke this morning knowing that Karen as much as I hope and expect wont walk through the door and it hurts, a pain that wont go away today or tomorrow and I doubt ever, deep inside where I feel it will always be a part of me as is Karen.
 
I don't know what today or tomorrow will bring but nothing is more certain than today Karen doesn't have cancer, she doesn't have tubes, nurses, hospitals, chemo, a body that is letting her down, today she can go to the gym, enjoy red wine and have the option to do whatever she wants as opposed to the restricition imposed on her by the cards we were dealt, knowing that gives me strength and an incredible sense of well being for it is all I could ever want, more than my need to simply have her here.

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Find someone to snuggle up with Brrr... its getting cold out there

Raise a glass

Wherever you are in world and when you next can raise a glass and take a moment for an incredible, brave, proud and special woman.

We are better for having known her but mourn her passing with deep sadness and loss.

Karen Whyman how will I live without you.

I MISS KAREN SO MUCH

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Find someone to snuggle up with Brrr... its getting cold out there

Celebrate

A strange title for what lies below but fitting,

Karen was my life,
We agreed to love and laugh forever,
For now we can't but Karen will always be with me guiding supporting and loving, my rudder, there to help me weather the storms.

Karen asked for us all to take a moment and celebrate that I and you were lucky to have had, she asks us not to be sombre but have a smile on our face with our last thought being a special and treasured moment we have each shared.

Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

A life too short,
A special and incredible wife and mother,
My soul mate,
Your friend,
Your sister,
Your daughter,

I will miss her every second until I take my last breath,
What completed me is gone.

Live life as if there is no tomorrow . . . . . .

Rest in peace Karen Whyman x x x x x

A slow and painful process

Life can be hard sometimes but no matter how hard mine has been at times it could never prepare me to watch as cancer slowly but surely has taken away Karen, it is truly cruel for her and all of us to watch as each day less and less of Karen is left.
Today Karen asked me to stay the night as she feels it will be her last, no matter how strong I try to be this is tearing me apart, tears bring no relief and all I hope and pray for is for someone whether it be God or whoever to have mercy on her and allow her to depart this world for the next, it is not fair and not right for her to suffer anymore.

Precious time, mother and daughter

Bathed, facial, hairdo and now food, what more could a girl want!

A very special present

A huge thanks to our very special friends Cris and Joe, they are amazing people, for Australians ;-)

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Having Lunch with UNCLE SAM

Enjoyed a feed with my uncle Sam today, video link below:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bELNUGs5P78

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Still trying to smell the roses

Life is shitful at the moment but I will never stop taking the time to smell the roses, Karen is sound asleep so rather than wake her I am sitting on the deck eating home made biscuits with a coffee and this is my view, I so miss sharing these moments with Karen.

A degree of acceptance

Sitting here tonight having fed Eva and going through the burping phase I can't help but let my mind wonder and the sense of foreboding of what lies ahead is daunting and overwhelming, a couple of thoughts:

Imagine realising you wife will never again come home,
Never fall asleep together,
Never argue,
Never just sit and just be together,
Share smelling the roses,
Share Eva and all that lies ahead with and for her,
Holiday together,
Share breakfast together,
Lie in bed skin to skin and just love and be loved,
Continue our adventure.

This is a hardship I wish none of you ever endure, so please today or tonight take a moment to tell your wife, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend just how much they mean to you and how you feel about them, you never ever know when you may not be able to!

I'm a big girl in my cot for my afternoon sleep

You could almost call it a "full nights" sleep

I think Miss Eva Whyman knows life is a little (lot) ruff at the moment and has decided to do her bit and help us out, bed at nine last night and awake at just after four is welcome relief.

After a bit of fiddling with Karen's pain relief we are pleased it is now all sorted and the most important thing has been fixed, she is now pain free, there are the ups and downs of increased doses or morphine but it is so much better to see her comfortable and now able to have a few good moments and enjoy a date and rhubarb pie from her mum ably assisted by her dad for artistic flair on the pastry.

From our first date we had always discussed things like death and what we would want, ironic considering how soon we have had to face it but dignified was paramount, we have achieved that and as much as typing this brings tears I also smile remembering over a glass of wine in Syracuse a restaurant in Melbourne just over two years ago Karen saying exactly that.

As the days go by I appreciate each and every moment we are able to share for there will not be many more, heart breaking to say the least.

Just in case

Thank you all so much for your emails and words of support, I apologise for not responding to each of them individually but please know we read each and everyone of them together and take strength from your words.

The path ahead for Karen is growing short and my updates maybe a little erratic and quite possibly not even make sense but once again thank you for your emails and messages it helps us more than you know.

A new home

Thought you all might like this, surprised Karen even let me take it.

If you would have seen Karen this morning you would have felt as we did, that she wouldn't last the day, so we have done well that she is now in the hospice and finally they have the pain under control, this morning scared the hell out of us and made us realise how little time we have left!

Catherine & Terry in York.jpg

Karen & Catherine

Visitors from afar

Our friends Catherine and Trevor came visiting, it was so special for us both to spend time with them, even better to hear the accents of home.

Thanks again it was so good to see you and the Byron Bay cookies were superb.

An update

Karen had her ultrasound this morning and long story short there is not much fluid so nothing worth draining, it would appear that the growth is simply cancer, bluntly I am shattered.

The path forward becomes even less clear, we are hoping to get Karen back to the hospice ASAP and make the most of the time ahead.

:-(