Sunday, August 30, 2009

A star

Wow, our first night away and Eva is still sound asleep after another perfect night, go the routine, go Tizzie Hall, I think she prefers the travel cot to her bed as it is a cue for an adventure.

It is a relief to say the least, to be able to have a change of scene, spend time with Sam, Janine and Archie and share memories and moments of Karen whilst Eva goes to sleep as normal at 7 and as normal until 7 the next morning.

She really is a star.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Silk for me

Today is hopefully the start of things getting easier, we picked up some silk top and bottoms so no more one wet layer top and bottom and one dry layer to boot, so now just paraffin and silks, I was going nuts to say the least and this week has taken me closer to the edge than any so far, now is when I really need Karen and that makes it even harder.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Puree Swedes anyone

I hope my mum went to this much trouble!

Eva amazes me every day, last night was more than just disrupted but I still managed to hit the 7pm bus bed time and like the star she is I woke her at 7am, Tizzie Hall and the team at Save Our Sleep you have made my life so much easier, THANK YOU.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Its the small things that seem so big at the moment

There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing my otherwise happy, healthy baby struck down with eczema. Baby Eczema is a terrible thing for any child to go through it just looks sore and irritable so I can only imagine how it must feel, I am proud of how Eva is taking it in her stride.

We were just hoping to avoid doctors and hospitals for a while, especially as Harrogate hospital was where it all started to go wrong last December, never mind.

So if there wasn't enough to do each day I now have to bath Eva, cover her in paraffin, then a layer top and bottom of damp tights, then a layer of dry and twice daily, its called wet wrapping, man alive sometimes the hardest thing is just accepting life isn't easy, it would be good to be given a break for a change though.

But at least it can be treated and after being thrown right out of her routine today tonight will really show how good she really is, a full nights sleep once again I am sure.


Dear All,
Sorry I haven't replied to many of the emails I have received over the past few weeks, have moments when I am happy to communicate and moments where I just get lost in my thoughts and of course Eva.
I will attempt in the next week to get on to it and reply to all your messages and let you know when I will next be in your respective neck of the woods and where I am at, that should be interesting to say the least :-)
In the meantime if you are following the blog and not getting automated emails, i.e. this one, send me your email address to and I shall sort it.

Check on MSN NZ Money for a hand Feeling the financial pinch?

Front play time

Good Morning

Monday, August 24, 2009

Eva being Eva

Explore the new Windows Live Looking for a place to manage all your online stuff?

Not a day goes by

Its meant to get easier right, well not as yet anyway, time hasn't diminished how much I miss Karen if anything it just makes it harder!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Loving solids

I thought the puree of the day, courgette, would have been the first dislike but another hit, Eva finishes every little bit.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

A change is as good as a holiday

Wow, what a week, kiwi visitors, australian visitors and all the while Eva eats more solids and is just one happy camper, long may it last. It has been great this week to go for a few runs, a ride and have diners with great people for company.

It seems like only yesterday Karen was here sharing every moment and the hardest thing is her not being here to share in the pride and love for Eva, I give Eva enough for both of us but I can never be Karen and even though Eva only new her mum for a while she felt how incredibly special she was. I just wish Karen was here to see her daughter grow and develop, she is so amazing in every way, I hope that where she is now she can at least see and feel the miracle we created.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A chance to hang out with friends

Wow it was almost like being back in the land of the long white cloud tonight, sharing pizza, a glass or red and all that has happened in our lives since we last saw each other probably seven years ago was unbelievably special to say the least, especially as we did so while our daughters born two days apart were asleep.

A visit from friends Craig, Janine and Rory Pitt who are here for a few days makes me feel very lucky and very special to have such great people to call friends, a huge thank you.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


What is life coming to when the highlight of my Saturday is the consistency of my pureed carrots! I am becoming far to domesticated today carrots and tomorrow pear, at least Eva seems to be loving it.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Another day another step forward, solids, well baby rice anyway, sorry about the quality of the photo, trying to hold Eva, food, spoon and feed her was all a little challenging.

Needless to say she seemed to like it.

It goes without saying but such special moments without Karen!

One Month Today

A month already, it has gone both fast and slow, fast because of Eva and slow because I still keep waiting for Karen to come through the door, I just wish we had been given a miracle.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Tuckered out

Eva is all worn out after her first swim, like a duck to water it was a dream, I didn't get up the courage to dunk her under maybe next time.

We went to the gym that Karen was a member of which was more than fitting and a few tears were had to be going for Eva's first swim without mum is heart breaking.

Friday, August 7, 2009

A goal for the days ahead

Man alive this is a hardship I wish to never again endure and would never wish upon anyone.

I hope to have some days soon when I don't shed a few tears, we listened to so much music that so many songs associate so memories, beautiful songs and beautiful memories, I would give anything for them to be beautiful moments we are having right now and for an eternity.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Getting use to not being swaddled

Thanks to Save Our Sleep Eva is sleeping soundly in her sleeping bag and having her afternoon nap.

Learning new tricks

Eva has decided it is time to try and roll over, I left her flat on her back and she has worked out how to get on her side it is just her left are stopping her going all the way, as she develops and gets closer and closer to new milestones, solids next, it highlights how much we miss Karen.

Help, is it ok to take Eva swimming now, if so any advice other than waterproof nappies and just do it, also do you need to shower or bath her afterwards?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


If I try to imagine all the things I would want in a life partner, personality, sense of humour, driven, strong, respect, sense of adventure, proud, honest, friendship, never let me down, always up for a challenge, stunning body, physical, attractive, petit, sexy and sexual, connection mentally and physically, fit, supportive, positive, the list goes on but you get the idea, this would be my idea of perfection and the hardest thing I struggle with each and every day is Karen defined all those things for me, she was my perfect.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Either awake or asleep

Eva has a really simple approach to life, she is either counting sheep or awake and going for it, there seems no in between.
Now that she has her sleeping bags and new swaddle thanks to the team at "Save Our Sleep" she sleeps so soundly she has even more energy to try and break the play gym.
Video Link

Find someone to snuggle up with Brrr... its getting cold out there

Taking up where mum left off

Wow my first passport I am ready to take up the challenge of the adventure that mum started but got prematurely ended.

It won't be the same without her but she would be disappointed if we did not.